The Internet: 1 Humans: 0

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by Janna Irons

Further evidence to the fact that technology is ruining the human race (or at least turning us into emoticons with limbs and 140-character attention spans), the World Wide Web and its overachieving spawn—Facebook, iPhone, and Twitter—have now found ways for us to create, maintain, and end relationships robotically!

How to Go From Single to In a Relationship to Single again with Zero Effort:

1. Breakup Notifier will let you know as soon as that guy/girl you’ve been quietly and neurotically cyberstalking finally changes his status to “single.”

2. Then, Girlfriend/Boyfriend Keeper will automatically send text messages or emails to your significant other based on your specified criteria such as “Relationship Seriousness” and how often you would like to (or are expected to) communicate.

3. And finally, when you decide it’s all just too much work, simply download
Erase Ur X, an application that lets you compose a personalized email breakup message with a photo and audio, so you get the last word.

And if you’re looking for other awesome ways to disconnect from reality:

Create a digital unborn child with your unknowing future lover with Babify. Or use a cyber urinal with Urinals the Game.

*In other news, this guy named his kid Facebook.

Witness This is very proud to feature this weeks post by Janna Irons from Stange Musings, Bizzare Encounters & Awesome Humans we hope to feature many more of her Genius in the future. Let us know what you think!

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