If you havn’t seen this site: Your Dad Was The Original Hipster, then check it out asap. Here are some highlights from the blog that is all about hipster origin and your pops.
Your dad knew how to pose for a photo before you did and he’s got the stance skills to prove it. He had a sixth sense for shutter snaps and could instantly arrange his body into vogue worthy positions. He invented blue steel, but called it whiskey thunder, and used it as his secret weapon to seduce lady photographers out from behind their cameras.
So hipsters, next time you’re hitting a stance that makes you look like you have to pee with your legs slightly crossed and your feet slightly pigeon toed, remember this…
Your dad’s poses only added to the mystery and manhood that he was, unlike yours which make you look like a giant pansy.
P.S. Your mom was pretty fucking hipster too and hot.
Your dad pre-gamed before you did and he’s never arrived at a bar sober to prove it. He had a tank sized tolerance for sin water, which is why his nights out began while they were still nights in. For three hours before every party, he was The Lone Rager who rode a twelve pack High Life steed and had a whiskey six shooter. His liver deserves a Purple Heart for the tours of duty it served under his command.
So hipsters, tonight when you’re slamming PBR because your coffee shop employment doesn’t pay enough to fund you alcohol habits, remember this…
Your dad can still put you to bed earlier, by drinking you under the table before you can even go out.
Thank you to explorealways on Tumblr for today’s hipster dad.
Your dad drank tall boys before you did and he had the thirst to prove it.
Your dad drank tall boys before you did and he had the thirst to prove it. Baby sized beers couldn’t quench his man sized alcohol hunger. That’s why after long hours of hard work he wrapped his bear fists around colossal cans of relaxation. His goliath gulp of hops didn’t just wash away the woes of his shitty job, it drown them in a sea of extra ounces.
So hipsters, next time you’re deuce deucing your liver with PBR, Tecate, or Bud Heavy, remember this…
You’d still be sipping small cans had your dad not demanded bars stock his go to drink of drunk – tall boys.
Your dad looked like Jesus before you did and he’s got the “I just spent 40 days and 40 nights fasting in the desert” look to prove it.
Your dad looked like Jesus before you did and he’s got the “I just spent 40 days and 40 nights fasting in the desert” look to prove it. Unlike his biblical doppelganger, he couldn’t turn water into a goodtime or create vegan, fair-trade, organic loafs of bread from rocks. Instead, like a drunk savior of the party masses, he gave cheap beer to the thirsty and opened fully shook PBR blessings on the dance floor. While he never cured the sick, he did cure the sober.
So hipsters, when you’re competing in a Sexy Jesus contest in Dolores Park on Easter Sunday, remember this…
You’re not Immaculate Conception.
Big thanks to Fashionpaws on tumblr for today’s photo.
head over to Your Dad here…